so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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