I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
