we're chasing vodka with high fives
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
