fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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