Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My dick has a subreddit
i think i just lost a toe
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
