11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
