hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
