can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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