i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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