I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
