Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize