walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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