am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize