is your mom at the bar?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
