Are we in a gay sports bar?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you traded sex for a burrito?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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