Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize