There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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