:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wish life had little blips of pornography
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
