she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
