i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
