someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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