Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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