I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
