I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
