I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
