normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
