Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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