i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
