my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
