are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
