why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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