It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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