Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize