11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
