I want to stick my p in your. b.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
