I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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