you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
