It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
