dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
