I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Actions speak louder than pants.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
