i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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