tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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