Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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