I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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