So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize