threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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