I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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