ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
