I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
