My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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