So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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