So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
