We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
