i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
