Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize