Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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