I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize