I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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